@Marcus Buckingham recently stirred debate by saying: “Stop giving people feedback. Start giving them your reactions.”
He’s right about one thing: the word “feedback” carries baggage. For many of us, it triggers dread, not growth.
I remember my old boss used to say, “Andrew, feedback is a gift.” What that really meant was: brace yourself, you’re about to get some. I’d half-jokingly slip an exercise book down the back of my trousers for protection. Because nine times out of ten, the “gift” felt more like a slap than something useful.
That’s the problem. Feedback has become a euphemism for criticism. And as Buckingham points out, it often comes across as arrogance — someone telling you how to be more like them. No wonder people switch off the moment they hear the word.
From Feedback to Reactions
Buckingham’s alternative is to share reactions instead of feedback.
Instead of: “Here’s what you did wrong,”
…it’s: “Here’s how I experienced what you did.”
That’s more authentic. You can’t argue with a reaction. If I say, “When you cut across me in the meeting, I felt frustrated,” that’s my truth, not a universal judgment.
But reactions alone aren’t enough. Left unchecked, they can turn into venting rather than growth.
From Feedback to Feedforward
That’s where @Marshall Goldsmith adds another layer with his concept of feedforward. He argues we spend too much time dissecting the past, when we should be offering suggestions for the future: “Here’s what you might try next time.”
It shifts the conversation from blame to possibility. From looking backward to looking ahead.
Feedback Must Be Useful
At its heart, the whole point of feedback is that it is useful to the listener — something they can action and improve. It isn’t about shaping them into a copy of you. It’s about helping them move forward toward a better, more crafted version of themselves.
The IEIA Framework
That’s why I developed IEIA — a simple framework that combines the authenticity of Buckingham’s reactions with the future-focus of Goldsmith’s feedforward. It’s not a linear process, but a checklist of essential ingredients.
I – Intent
Why am I giving this? To help, to recognise, to develop? Clear intent stops feedback from turning into ego.E – Evidence
What did I actually observe? Stick to facts, not assumptions.I – Impact
What would be the impact if you continued doing things that way? This shifts the lens from judgment to learning — making consequences visible, but also creating choice.A – Actionable
What can be done differently (or continued) next time? This is Goldsmith’s feedforward — moving from critique to possibilities.
From Dread to Growth
So maybe the problem isn’t feedback itself — it’s the way it’s given. Too often it comes across as vague, judgmental, or self-serving.
When leaders use IEIA, guided by the principle of Useful, they create a conversation that’s:
Authentic (your real reaction),
Grounded (based on evidence),
Structured (clear and purposeful), and
Future-focused (a way forward).
That’s when feedback stops feeling like something you need to armour up against — and starts becoming something you can actually grow from.
👉 So maybe the question isn’t whether to stop giving feedback. The real question is: How do we reshape it so somebody can actually use it
?